Regular readers will have noticed that the old diary has been a bit thin of late. As you can imagine, it's been a bit a week what with the Wedding of the Year (I hope Ken and Deidre make it this time) and the big event in Rome. To top it all, yours truly has been out in the hustings in the Battle Datsun Sunny chivving up support for my In Vino Veritas party.
It's been an endless round of kissing pensioners and promising free Werthers Originals to babies, without, I have to admit, much success. As you know, we are a compact group - me and El Magnifico, my Minister Without Cogent Thought. So I decide to co-opt Quentin from the PR company and Old Cove from the Planet Bollocks to help out with the manifesto.
We meet up at the Bar Rhumba for a drink with an umbrella to discuss tactics. Old Cove goes into one about focus groups and suggests a little 'blue sky thinking' about party values so that we can define the voter demographic. So I give them both barrels. At end of twenty minutes, it appears that I will not tolerate; children, foreigners, foreigners with caravans, young people or old people and I am in favour of; free pre-written essays for students, corporal punishment for people at the supermarket checkout without the correct change and a lifetime ban for drivers who hold everybody up in car parks waiting for someone to leave their space. OC and Quentin go into a huddle and come back with the result.
Apparently my target voter is a rather strange woman in Dungeness. I wonder if I can get her telephone number?
1 comment:
Who needs a dating service, then, when you have Old Cove and Quentin? Let us know if you look the old bird up.
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