In Vino Veritas

Reuters
2 Feb 2005 12:00




Britain's newest political party, In Vino Veritas, was launched today on a populist platform of "straight-talking" under global mega-star Vernon Grope.

In a 15-minute debut speech to reporters in the Hanger and Flogger Wine Bar, Mr Grope lambasted all politicians as "liars" and said his new party would be looking for the votes of those who had previously been unrepresented.

Mentioning only 'all-day opening hours and spliffs for all' as policy areas, the charismatic rock star bordered on ranting as he repeatedly dismissed the entire British political establishment as liars, before saying the British public were "tired of yahoo politics".

With only Mr Grope and Iberian poet El Magnifico so far signed up as the public face of the party, the new leader did not explain who would fund his 'straight-talking' party, or how many candidates it would put up at the next election.

Unrolling a scroll of paper symbolising the "lies and broken promises" of the Monster Raving Looney party , Mr Grope said: 'The British people are fed up of being presented with candidates dressed as mythical animals with big heads'. He promised to bring a breath of fresh air into the stuffy world of UK politics.

When pressed on his policies, Mr Grope did admit to free drum-kits for the under-fives and establishing the University of Road Management or 'Roadie Uni' for nurturing a new generation of fat sweaty blokes with long hair and a drink problem.

Mr Grope was then whisked away by Datsun Sunny to an undisclosed address for a lie down in a darkened room.

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